JAXSON!

Seventeen years ago today, right this minute, I was anxiously awaiting the arrival of my first born. Who would he look like? Would he have my temper or be more mild mannered like Tim? Would he love me? Who will he be when he grows up? Would he have a thirst for knowledge? Will he know that he has a noble lineage? Looking back, it seems odd.....I meet this day with very similar questions. Jaxson might not ever fully understand the magnitude of the birth order in our family. I want him to understand that he was given a mission long before he was ever born. I know that he carries a weight that few people in our family understand. It is very real. Jaxson is the comfort to a pain that has no healing. To put it simply, he is a blessing!

Jaxson entered this world with a strength that I have always admired. I love the answers to the questions posed the day as I waited for him to join our family. He looks like his father. He has Tim's disposition. He studies more out of necessity than desire. I believe he has a knowledge of his birthright. I still wait to see who he will be when he grows up. I know I will love him no matter who or what he becomes. I know that he has his own cheering section on earth and in heaven. I am eternally grateful for the relationship he shared with my maternal grandparents. He was a light in their lives, as he is in mine. Jaxson shoulders the responsibility of being the oldest and the only man in the house when Tim is gone. (Not an easy task with 5 hormonal women in house.)He is a friend and help to our family and friends. I love Jaxson. I love the relationship he has with his father. I love that he holds the Priesthood. I love his friends. I have fasted and prayed for Jaxson's friends. They are good young men. While they eat more than anyone I know, they are a help and a blessing to my family. I love that Jaxson is the same person no matter who is around or where he is.

Don't get me wrong....Jaxson has a "few" faults. His faults are far from my focus this day! Happy birthday Jax! I am so proud to have you for a son!!!

Happy Birthday Marnae!

Tomorrow is my friend Marnae's Birthday. I have to blog about it tonight because tomorrow is also the birthday of my Jaxson. It is a great day! For some reason, I NEVER forget Marnae's birthday. As unforgettable as Marnae's birthday is for me, so too, is she. I love her. Marnae is one of the most down to earth, honest people I know. I do not know many people who serve others more than Marnae. I have many memories of Marnae ....of girls, dance, late nights in hotels, laughing, playing and yes, even crying. When my girls were all young, Marnae helped me in so many ways. Now that they are older, she continues to help me. I could never repay her for all that she does for me and my family. Tim and I have been honored to share special events with the Ballantyne family. Her daughters carry on her tradition of serving and blessing the lives of those around them. I honestly don't have words to express the love and gratitude I feel for Marnae. I know she is truly a blessing in my life. I know that my kids respect and love her. She is a woman that every mother would want their kids to not only know, but have as an integral part of their lives . Marnae has always been an example to me and everyone around her. She has been there at times when I felt like grief would consume me. She has loved me at times when I felt unlovable. She has inspired me at times when I felt so far from the spirit. I need to express my gratitude to Marnae for talks over tears, and the unconditional love she has always shared with me. I wish her the happiest of birthdays and want her to know how much I love her! To know Marnae is to love her!

Carey Crockett

Thirty seven years ago, one of my favorite people was born. It would be years later before I realized the full impact of that event, but I will forever be grateful! Carey is, to put it simply, extraordinary! I get emotional just thinking about how lucky I am to have her in my life! Carey has seen me at my worst, and loves me in spite of myself. She has been my cheerleader and confidante. Carey has the uncanny ability to make people want to be better. She makes me want to be better! She is an amazing friend. Carey is smart. She loves my children unconditionally and they know it! I am touched by how willing Carey is to love my children and let them be such a big part of her family. I know that each of my children love and respect Carey also.

Now, lets talk about one of Carey's greatest accomplishments: RUBY! I love that little girl! Ruby is blessed to have such a wonderful woman as her mother. Carey and I were friends before Ruby was born. I like to think that Ruby has only enhanced our friendship. I love being able to talk motherhood with Carey (The good, the bad and the ugly). Carey is so down to earth that she makes it easy to tell her how you are feeling. Carey will always tell me when she thinks I am wrong, but I know without a doubt that she loves me!

What more can I say? Other than that "I LOVE CAREY!!!!" I wish her a year of happiness.

Thank Heaven for Little Girls!

Today was definitely a PARTY!! It was a "little girl" heaven! We had a play date with Libby, Indie and Jacee. The girls played jump rope, colored with side walk chalk, and jumped on the trampoline. Everyone seemed to love just being together.
The weather was fantastic! We barbecued hot dogs and ate dinner outside. Since our kids usually eat together anyway, Joy and I decided to "tag team" for dinner. Carey and Ruby even came to hang out at the sorority house. Days like today make me smile! Even hot dogs taste good with friends and family around.
When I was young, I babysat for the Barnes family. They had four wild and crazy boys. I loved those kids. I always thought that I wanted a house full of boys like the "Barnes boys." I couldn't love Jaxson more. I love when the house is full of boys and girls. But, I wouldn't trade my four sweet girls and all of the little girls that come to play at our house for anything! I thank Heaven for every one of these cute girls!

Hellbusch Family Fun/Vans Day...

So, we begin week number 3 of Tim being out of town. Luckily, his flight was Monday night. We got all the kids out of school and had family night at 11 am. In our never ending effort to appease all ages, we decided to surprise the kids with a day of fun.

We checked them out of school and headed to lunch....
We ate at "Santa Monica Pizza." They have this great "all you can eat" lunch special. The kids loved it and I loved watching them.
Smile Hanna!!! This is "Hellbusch Family Fun Day!" Look at how cute Timmy is! I just love that guy!

After lunch, and much to the surprise of our kids, we headed to the mall. When we walked in the "Vans" store, we told them that each of them could pick a pair of new Vans. They thought Tim and I were the BOMB. (I mean, I know we are, but it is refreshing when the kids think so too.) I am sure the worker was happy to see us leave. As per the pic, Tim was not happy to see the receipt. It was a fun day! I am truly blessed with a great husband. He is such a hard worker and an amazing father.
I love him.
I loved spending this day with Tim and the kids.
I love beating them at "Name that Tune."
I love laughing with them.
I absolutely love loving them!!!!!

"Dancers Against Cancer"

WOW! What a night! Morgan and Hanna performed in a Benefit Concert for our friend, Tiffanie. Tiffanie is one amazing young woman who is undergoing treatment for muscular cancer. Obviously, many people share our thoughts and feelings about Tiffanie. The auditorium at Pleasant Grove High School was overflowing with supporters. Tiffanie's aunt and cousins put the whole program together. The group, "Afterglow" sang a few songs and MC'd the concert, dance teams from all over the area danced in honor of Tiffanie, even artists from "Dancing with the Stars" shared their talents with the hope of raising money for Tiffanie.

I am so proud of Morgan and Hanna. They truly "caught the vision" of this concert and encouraged many others to do the same. We have known Tiffanie for years. My girls look up to her and the example she sets for those around her. I am forever indebted to Tiffanie for the strength and determination that she is so selflessly teaching my children. I am grateful to a Heavenly Father that has let our lives be influenced by so many great people. As a mother, I feel so inadequate at times. I need others to help me teach my children in area's that I am lacking. I know that as a family we have been richly blessed.

At the concert, everyone who has been touched by cancer was asked to stand. Few people remained in their chairs. As I watched and listened to Tiffanie, who has stubble where beautiful hair once resided and casts on both feet, one word came to mind....HOPE!!!!! I know that is why Tiff and her family remain so strong. I know that is why my family looks to her and learns lessons of endurance. I know that is why many people face each day anew.

For all of these things, and so many more, I truly stand amazed.

(Avery, Emmie and Haidyn watching the concert)

"...my other dance shoe...."

So, Saturday was another fun filled "dance day"! I had to have Morgan at the competition early, so Emmie stayed and was going to come up later with Joy. My phone rings at the crack of dawn.
The conversation went something like this.....
Joy-"Have you already left?"
Kari-"Yep, almost there."
Joy-"Don't panic! Emmie just said, "I hope my mom found my other dance shoe!" I didn't want to stress you out but I thought you might want to know."
Kari (pulling her hair out) "I noticed one was missing last night around midnight. I am hoping that someone has one she can borrow."

What the heck is a girl supposed to do??? Does anyone know Emmalyne? THAT SHOE COULD BE ANYWHERE!!!! I love that without a care in the world, she simple states, "I hope my mom found my other dance shoe!" I mean, of course there is a "shoe fairy" walking around scouting out missing shoes! Em, you are the cutest!

Reaching....

Ryanne might be one of the most tender kids I know! She is definitely beautiful on the inside and out! The other day Ryanne was in her room listening to her ipod. The song "Reaching" by Hillary Weeks was playing. Ryanne asked if I would come to her room for a minute. When I did she said, "Mom, I really love this this song." I won't bore you with all the lyrics but, the chorus goes like this...

"We are reaching for the future.
We are reaching for the past.
And no matter what we have,
we reach for more.

We are desperate to discover
what is just beyond our grasp.
But maybe that's what Heaven is for."

There is not a day that goes by that Ryanne doesn't bring a little bit of Heaven into our home.

She is such a thoughtful young lady. (It has recently come to my attention that she needs me to let her grow up a little. I have always called Ryanne and Emmie "The Littles." Ryanne does not like me referring to her in that way anymore. Thus, "young lady!") She has a point. She is beyond my years in many ways. I often look at Ryanne and wonder if she realizes how amazing she is. What I would give to have a heart like her. Ryanne is a peacemaker. She loves to learn. She loves everyone. She is giving. She is a great big sister. She listens to the meaning of words in songs. She has a beautiful smile. Most of all, Ryanne makes me want to be a better person.
I love Ryanne!!!!

Weekend Reflections.....

Friday-dinner and a movie with a great friend.
Saturday-watched my nieces perform in a play (my little Brookie is now calling me "Kari" instead of "Auntie." I am not liking that at all) and went to dinner for my sisters birthday (Kate is the "older" one).

Sunday-We have somewhat started a tradition of Sunday dinners in Joy's backyard on her beautiful new patio furniture. I say "some what" because we only got to eat outside on Joy's birthday. Every other Sunday it has been freezing outside. But the company is great, the food is great, and I love playing with the little kids. My favorite part of yesterday was walking on the path with Ruby and Zuri. I love those little girls. I love that they play such a huge role in our lives. Yesterday, I even made grilled mushrooms and onions for burgers. Tim was home long enough to barbecue burgers and then had to head out of town again. I am so blessed to have such a hard working husband, awesome kids and wonderful friends. I loved the weekend!!!