Sunday, September 09, 2012

My baby is ONE!

 Five years ago, our lives were going along just fine. That isn't to say we didn't have any worries. We were just trying to do our best and love our family. A family that was large by all definition. Tim and I had decided that we were done having children after our sweet Emmaline blessed our home. Our home was full. We were sure we were done and proud. We were young and felt as though we could still be young as our kids got older. We jokingly said it would take an act of God for us to have another.
 Fast forward a little while. I dreamt that I saw a little girl waiting for my at the top of the stairs. Just a dream I thought. Until it happened again. I started wondering if we were wrong. I didn't want to be wrong. We had done what we had planned. Now we could go on and enjoy the kids we had. Right? Wrong. This feeling that some one was missing made me so sad. And a little mad. I was skinny again. I had spent my years losing baby weight etc.
 I decide one day to approach Tim on the subject. Remember, we had a plan!! I said, "I think we are supposed to have another baby AND I just want to warn you that I know its a girl. Imagine the look on my sweet husbands face. Keeping in mind that we had a plan. Not to mention 4 girls. He thinks I am wrong. I was hoping I was wrong. So I said,"okay. You fast and pray about it and let me know. Maybe I am wrong."
Tim travels a lot and a little bit of time went by. Once in a while Tim would still tell me he thought I was wrong. Then one day Tim said he was asking, just out loud asking "Is there another baby for us?'
 The answer he heard was "YES" in a child's voice. I don't think he was expecting that but it's what he got. Then we decided to listen. We weren't getting any younger. I got pregnant right away. But then miscarried which made me realize I wasn't just doing what I thought was right. I wanted that baby. Even knowing it was a girl kind.
 Hazel has been a blessing in our lives since the day she was born. I can't believe that day was a year ago. The story that you can't read from these pictures is that Hazel is loved, cherished even. Every now and then Emmie will say, "We are so lucky to have Hazel in our family." She is loved by so many. Missed by her brother, and spoiled by all. We love you Hazey Layne. We loved your name sake more than words truly can express. You remind me of her everyday. I am grateful!
 Hazel is one of seven loves of my life. I love that she growls at me every time she sees me. Would rather stay with Carey than come to me. Knows that Shelley lives across the street with every treat known to man waiting for Hazel to come visit. Hazel has an awesome big brother whom I am sure was missing her today. I hope she feels the love he has for her. A year ago today he would not leave the hospital while Hazel and I were there. He is a great big brother. I am glad she has him to look up too.
I am in love with this face. Sheer heaven for a pint size like Hazel. She knew it was her day and she worked it!!! Happy First Birthday to my sweet Hazel!

2 comments:

Lindsay Smith said...

Hazel looks darling! I can't believe she is one!

Shannon said...

such a beautiful post kari!! i love that little girl and she is such a perfect addition to your family.
Her story never gets old!
so precious!